***Ok, so now that the podcast is LIVE and AVAILABLE here on the website and at iTunes and Stitcher for Android, I can sit down and start this epic blog post about the 5 Reasons Nothing Is Changing. So without further a do, here is Part 1!
You Don't Want To
Ouch! That probably sounds a little harsh but, for so many people, although we might say things like:
'I want to feel better'
'I want to lose weight'
'I want a new partner'
'I want to quit smoking', etc...
We don't really know why we want those things.
What I mean by this is, we lack clarity around the reasons behind our goals. We want these things on a very superficial level and unfortunately, that's not enough of a reason for our subconscious mind to get behind us and help us to achieve our desires.
Let's face it, most humans cover their eyes and bury their heads in the sand when it comes to doing anything that will alter their status quo. We are terrified of doing the thing that might change the way things are for us out of fear that going after that thing that we desire most will cause us suffering, discomfort or harm, especially if we don't achieve that goal. I mean, we are familiar with our current level of dissatisfaction with the way things are now and we can take some comfort in that familiarity. Change takes courage and considered, consistent effort on our behalf, a new learning and humans tend to resist the discomfort associated with exerting this type of effort at all cost.
Thus, most of us wait until we are backed into a corner with no where to turn, before we are willing to commit to making the changes needed to bring about a better quality of life for ourselves. What this means is, our motivation or our 'why' has suddenly gotten so compelling that we can no longer ignore it. For me personally, this moment occurred when I could no longer feel my legs after a major Multiple Sclerosis relapse. Suddenly my 'why' for eating better and redesigning my life was far greater than my desire to remain in the status quo of disease and depression that I had been stuck in for the first 28 years of my life. My 'why' became wanting to feel my legs again, wanting to have a healthy body for my family, wanting to be able to run and play with my children, to support myself financially, to be able to get the most out of my life and this 'why' became my obsession.
Frederick Neitzsche once said:
"He who has a why, can endure any how"
So, what is your 'why'?
If you don't think you have one, don't wait until you're backed into a corner like I was, create your 'why' today.
Here's a few tips to discover your own personal 'why':
- Consider what it is that fills your heart with joy, that ignites a fire in your soul. What is that thing? This 'why' can't be something innane such as 'I want to look hot in a bikini this summer', it needs to be bigger than that, bigger than you. Your why should keep you up at night thinking of how it might transform your life, transform the world and not just your summer. What could you do or become whilst doing that thing that ignites your soul?
- What are you good at? Now you might not know, so ask a close friend or family member to list your strengths and also find a decent strengths calculator online that can point you in the right direction. Are you a good leader or problem solver? Are you a good communicator or writer? Are you good at building things with your hands or navigating the latest technologies? What is the thing that you do that comes effortlessly to you?
- What problems are you good at solving for yourself and others? What areas are you passionate about problem solving to discover knew solutions for yourself and others? What areas do you use your natural strengths to assist you in figuring out ways to do something better or differently?
- What do you want your legacy to be?
Seriously, sorry to get morbid but have you ever thought about how you want to be remembered after you die? Do you think it will be the bikini body, the flashy house, the car and the fancy career be the thing that people talk about after you're gone? If not those things then what will it be? What would you like it to be? How do you want to have made people feel? How do you want your partner to remember you? What about your children? What about the world?
So turn off Netflix and put down your phone tonight and get writing and answering these questions until you're 'why' is clear and you can't stop thinking about doing whatever it takes to achieve it.
Now you've figured out whether or not you do in fact want the thing you think you want, you're ready for Part 2 which will be coming NEXT WEEK!..
Much Love Always,