Ok, so episode 36 is here and this episode was tough for me.
This week I decided to do a deep dive into my own personal recovery story because, I noticed that it's easy to just spout off the conditions I no longer experience but, it's an altogether different thing to actually go back to that space, to feel those old feelings and to talk from a place of deep sadness.
I honestly didn't think it would be this hard but, when I sat down in front of the microphone to record it, what spilled out of me felt like cracking myself open in a way I hadn't for a really long time. When you feel as good as I do now (and have for 10 years this coming August), that old life, that old 'Corinne' seems like another lifetime ago, almost as though it happened to another person.
I considered how I was going to approach recording this interview, perhaps I would get someone to interview me or perhaps I'd write up some slides and use them as prompts but, in the end I decided just to go inwards and see what happened organically. This is why this episode has turned out the way it has, a chronological journey, with highs and lows and everything in between.
There are several parts where I deliver far too much information, far too much about my own bowel movements and the early days in my relationship with my husband where my low self worth and fears around my MS lead me to push away the love of my life. I left these stories in because they happen to people.
Constipation and bowel problems happen to more people than we'll ever know because the standard Australian/American/Western diet and because of social taboos around this topic and the problem is, while these stories are kept in the dark, people like me keep living as though these issues are just a part of life that we have to deal with when they don't have to be. For 10 years now I have been free of this problem that had become such a source of shame and fear in my life for so many years. I don't know how I forgot to mention it in the audio episode, but I forgot to mention the constant and painful, uncomfortable and embarrassing hemorrhoids I lived with for so many years that are now also a thing of the past!
I spoke about those first two years of my relationship with Ranjit because so many people struggle in relationships when they live with chronic disease and I wanted to give a voice to those people. It's hard when you have zero confidence and your future is so uncertain to allow another person into that life, to allow them to take on those fears and carry a part of that themselves. When you care for someone, you don't want them to suffer, you don't want them to see you suffer or to have to see you vulnerable and frightened for your future. It's also hard to trust that when the going gets tougher, they won't leave and that fear can make us do some pretty destructive things unless we get the support and help that we need to move past those fears and emotions.
After spending the first 25 years of my life watching my brother slowly die from Muscular Dystrophy, the thought of someone willingly choosing that as a possibility for themselves seemed like insanity. There are so many emotions that enter when you're simultaneously grieving and living with the possibility of being left in a wheel chair and on ventilation awaiting your own death... The fear for those living with a disease such as MS is real and it is not easy to live with, especially in new relationships. If you're feeling some of these things yourself, know you are not alone.
In this episode I also went into depth regarding my own brothers death and although not specifically related to my whole food, plant-based journey, I hope you can understand how his death has played such a powerful role in my own commitment to doing everything within my power to live my life free from disease.
I hope the story about Brett gives you more of an understanding of who I am as a woman and what my underlying motivations are for my life and also for this podcast.
No family should have to stand by the bedside of their loved ones watching on as they slowly die, so I hope through these stories, far less people ever have to go through what my family went through. But if you are reading this and going through something like this please feel free to write to me in the comments or by personal message in Facebook messenger or by following the Contact tab on this website. I would love to hear from you and if I can, offer you some comfort or even just an ear to your grief and despair. It feels hard because it IS hard.
This story was hard for me to record and even harder for me to release to the World, I even had to send it off to friends to listen to prior to uploading it iTunes and Stitcher because I just felt like no one would want to listen to me talk about my life story for an hour and the intention was for it to be meaningful and hopefully help someone listening to take the steps necessary to move forward or, at the very least, feel less alone, but if it didn't do that, then what would be the purpose?
I really hope you can get what you need from my story or at least get more of an understanding of where I have come from and why I became so committed to spreading these stories of hope and supporting people to discover the power of a low fat, whole food, plant-based diet. In a nutshell, I'm committed because it saved my life. Many times throughout the first 28 years of my life I felt like there was no point to me living, that life was just too filled with pain and disease to go on. I know I'm not alone in feeling that way.
Today, I feel like I want to live FOREVER!
My body feels like it is growing healthier by the day and I am so excited for each new day and what I might learn and how I might challenge myself to grow as a person and how I might positively help others. After years spent cursing the alarm clock, I now wake up excited every single morning and I don't feel the need to sleep my life away anymore!
If you are reading this and are right in the thick of feeling pretty awful, know things CAN be different. Most people who begin changing their diet and lifestyle by incorporating whole, plant foods, sunshine, meditation and self care feel better (to some degree at least) and notice almost immediate benefits to their overall health and wellbeing. You can to.
If you feel like you need support:
If you're looking for a safe space to ask questions or learn more about plant-based living feel free to join my supportive Facebook group Women Thriving Plant Based :-)
If you'd like more information about how a low fat, whole food, plant-based diet can help you, I'm hosting an online Healing With Wholefoods Masterclass on the 25th of June 2018, which I will be offering regularly from here on in so LIKE my Corinne Nijjer Facebook page to be kept in the loop or if you're reading this in time, you can BOOK YOUR SEAT HERE
If you'd like to help me to spread the whole food, plant-based message, I'd love it if you could head on over to iTunes to leave a 5 Star Rating and a kind Review as this helps more people to find this podcast and potentially change their lives for the better. I read every single review and am so grateful to everyone who has already taken the time to help support this podcast. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
If you'd like to chat at all about what you've heard on this podcast or about getting some support on your health journey, click on the free consult button and book a time, I'd love to hear from you.
Thanks so much for listening and please leave a comment or question over in the comments section after this episodes show notes and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. :-)
Hope you enjoy this weeks episode.
Wishing you great health always,